Comments by anxietyandscreaming

I know it doesn't make any sense but I think to myself that if I run this code:

for (int i = 0; i < 100; i++)
{
    Console.WriteLine("Apple");
}

That it could "randomly" write the word "Banana" and there'd be no explanation.

I look at what you dislike and from there connect the dots. Everyone thinks I'm fucking crazy

And every line of code is some supernatural anxious battery of thoughts of things that will go wrtong.

It has to be everyday because fucking sisyphus AM I RIGHT?!?!??!!?!?

The only reason I write code is because I'm sick of having dealt with this my entire life. By writing good code it gives me leverage to say "see I'm not making it the fuck up"

If I could get the IP address of everyone that disliked one of my links I'd ban them from viewing the repo

And then I go through every event in my life and try to piece together what sequence of events lead to everyone hating me

I view this IDE as something that will go down in history as one of the greatest art pieces ever created.

When I have officially made the greatest IDE, I very well might shoot myself immediately at that moment.

I am shocked, so much code just happened

The IDE from the start has only ever been a mirage of meaning, and now the illusion is broken.

Like a computer science textbook is invalidated because I read it and it becomes false

It literally is just me talking about philosophy and then the psychiatrist is like WOAH WOAH WOAH antipsychotic time

I have a thought. It is a complete thought. I just can't put my figure on it.

It isn't about making an IDE, it is about the absolute fucking insanity that is behind someone who is the sole developer of such a feat.

I don't want money. I wanty fucking isolation

I'm aware that there are many layers to a computer/OS and maybe one of them can fail. But what I'm refering to is the system works perfectly and you'vedone this many times before and for some reason you do it one more time and it just says "Banana"

I'd get a fucking protracter and move this shit 20 degrees to the left thinking that'd fix it then immediately tell myself I have to move it 20 degrees to the right OR I"L:L FUCKING DIE

And I see these mind games and then my head just starts spinning. I'm stunlocked cause I'm too tired to make progress but I'm too filled with rage to be calm.

And I just binge ate chocolate icecream and now I'm scared I won't fall asleep because there might be caffeine in the chocolate icecream.

So I just worked for a bit more than 3 hours straight in the cooler and my fingers were going numb.

Suddenly someone comes in and says Hunter I need to talk to you.

I thought I was in massive trouble and they were gonna fire me cause like "what the fuck are you doing in the cooler dressed like that you're gonna die"... "btw you can turn off the fan at 15 minute intervals, I'm surprised nobody told you this already".

I'm not even real

I wanna do this but I feel sadness deep within my soul

I'm gonna put my laundry in can you pause the game until I'm back?

I'll fucking prove it to you.

I've never wanted to make an IDE. I've just wanted to move on from her.